I had every intention of trying to bring good cheer with my New Year blogs, but it was dark yesterday and I had the misfortune to deal with Sky at the weekend.

Sometimes, I can do no better than to just copy and paste the ‘conversation’ I had with them. I have shortened some of it, but you will get the gist…

So, I started by calling them, but this didn’t work. Then I found a way to email them, so this is where the story starts:

Enquiry Type:
Customer service complaint (TV)
Description:
I have held for 15 minutes today to talk to you about my subscription. This has cost be nearly £1 not to get through. It’s shambolic. I need to speak to someone as I am now even more tempted to move to Virgin. How do you get to speak to you?

Dear Mr Garratt

Customer Account Number: xxxx
Thank you for your email enquiring about talking to customer service team.
I’m sorry this issue has caused you concern and hope my reply below clarifies the position for you.
I regret to inform you that as I’m from emails department, I’m unable to arrange for call back.
Kind regards
Preeti
Sky Help Centre

Thanks for this, my issue was that I spent 15 minutes holding (cost nearly £1) not to speak to anyone.
We are having issues with our Sky+ HD box.Virgin are offering me free new HD box (Tivo 1tb) and package for £27.50per month (I pay you £55)
I don’t want Sky Sports or Movies any more – but we do watch some of the HD channels. I think you have an entertainment + package?
My reason to call was to enquire how much notice I have to give you to stop the service or what options you can offer (which as a minimum needs to include a replacement box!)
I look forward to hearing from you.

Dear Mr Garratt
Thank you for contacting Sky Help Centre.
Can you e-mail a reply to advise when is the best time and date to call you.
Kind regards
Wendy
Sky Help Centre

You can call me on 077xxxx
After 5pm today
Or after 10am tomorrow
Kind regards

Dear Mr Garratt
Thank you for contacting Sky Help Centre.
I will call you tomorrow at 10am.
I hope this helps with your enquiry.
Kind regards
Wendy

Monday 2nd January 2012

It’s now nearly 11am – I have waited in for an hour! Are you intending calling?
Kind regards
Tim

Mr Garratt
I do apologise but was not aware I am unable to call you today as there is no outbound calls to be made today to our customers due to the holiday, please call our customer service team on 08442414141.
Whilst I realise that you may be disappointed with the decision made, I hope that you can appreciate our position on this matter.
Kind regards
Wendy

Wendy
Have you actually read what you have written? I can call you – but you can’t call me ‘due to the holiday’? This is corporate gobbledegook.
So, can I just clarify. You told me you were going to call me at 10am today – but didn’t. I chase you up (because I haven’t heard after nearly an hour of waiting) and you can’t call me – due to the holiday. But you can email me and I can ring you? And I can ring you on the number you have given me. Will I be put on hold again for 15 minutes? Will this cost me?
Never has the word ‘shambolic’ been more appropriate for an organisation.
Yes I am disappointed. No I don’t appreciate ‘your position’.
Regards Tim
PS are you really Wendy – or are you all called ‘Wendy’?

Dear Mr Garatt,
Please accept my apologies – as today is what we would class as a public holiday we would be unable to make an outbound telephone call to yourself to discuss this matter.
However – I can offer you a responce via E-Mail with a solution.
Kind regards
Robert

I can’t add much more to this. Other than I am speaking to Virgin.