Category Archives: Grumpy Old Man!

A sign of me just getting grumpier and grumpier! I try to be an optimist most of the time, but just sometimes..I’m just grumpy!

May 10 2012

Bonnie Scotland

Was it Skegness (‘Skeggy’ to us Nottingham types) that was oh so bracing? I think so, although possibly an ad-mans spin on blustering gales?

As you read this I wake up this morning in ‘Bonnie’ Scotland – yet another phrase which hides the real meaning. What I mean is that I’m in a cold place which generally stops England from fraying. It’s that time of year when a pilgrimage is made to play the ‘good walk spoiled’ game of golf. This has become a regular fixture for the group of us from Nottingham Squash Club – who have our own mini golf society.

And I can confirm that there is some sort of different climate up North. It is several degrees cooler, but yesterday was acceptable. The forecast for today, however, is that the sky is going to be a different sort of angry black. If I’m honest it’s not weather for golf!

We had always assumed that if it rained for four days that would be a reasonable result.

We are staying in Peebles, a nice little place, where there are fewer fights than Galashiels. We are also in a Hotel where we are not banned from. There was a misunderstanding at Burts Hotel a couple of years ago and the delightful and customer-facing Mr Henderson (owner extraordinaire) barred us – not just for Christmas, but rather for life. He muttered something about ‘responsible adults’. In fairness I have never claimed this title. Nor were the various ‘incidents’ anything to do with me!

I love my golf, I just wish the weather would change back – just a little. If you know anyone in charge of the stuff, a little word in their shell-like would be much appreciated!

In the meantime, I’ll put some wet weather gear on and try again today. The cries of “In the hole” or “who’s the daddy” ringing in my ears!

Fore!!!

May 9 2012

(Not) The Mayor Of Nottingham

It’s been nearly a week since the referendum on whether Nottingham should have an elected a Mayor – and the majority of voters decided not. Perhaps now is the time to reflect on the decision.

28320 people voted to keep arrangements as they are now – 20943 voted in favour of changing the council being run by a Mayor elected by voters – giving a majority of 7,377 to the ‘no’ vote. The split was approximately 57% for and 43% against. The turnout was 23.9% of all eligible voters.

Nottingham was one of the ten largest cities in England chosen for potential change. As it turned out nine out of the ten cities chosen had a ‘no’ returned. Just Bristol agreed – and they will hold an election in the Autumn. In Doncaster they chose to keep their Mayor who was appointed first in 2001.

So what went wrong?

Regrettably the debate didn’t really start. The present Labour Leadership in Nottingham ran a negative campaign which was really a lost opportunity. There were no details behind their headlines. Some of the tactics (such as the racist leaflet) were below the belt. The £1m cost was never justified – and was just political spin in my view. To that end it worked.

But in my various conversations over the last few weeks with the business community at large the anecdotal evidence was that Nottingham needs a change. The business community don’t get a vote! But they do shape and influence the City. I never met anyone who said it was a waste of money.

I am still of the view that this is a good place, but it’s not great. Nor is it as good as it could be. We are in danger of become more marginalised – especially as the current leadership continues to fight Government.

I have heard too many negative stories in the last few weeks. One London Developer said to me, “you have no idea how difficult it is to invest in your City”. Word gets around and this is not good.

We need to wake up and smell the coffee. A win it may have been, but it wasn’t a whitewash. I hope that the Council take notice that there is an undercurrent – and it’s not in favour of the way things have always been.

Time to drop the Mayor story from here, but not the sentiments. Nottingham needs change to make change.

May 7 2012

Crime Doesn’t Pay?

At the weekend some unsavoury types tried to get in my house uninvited. They went to a lot of trouble, but failed to ‘fish’ their way in. They left the clues all over the garden – a chair, a bamboo cane, broom handle brush and all of my conservatory windows open.

The Police were great – as they were when we had some bikes stolen earlier in the year. The SOCO man unfortunately couldn’t get fingerprints – I was all for DNA test, but it seems that they only really do this when there’s a murder. Attempted break-in is some way from this apparently.

One of the things that we must get sorted out as a City is crime. Although the statistics can tell you anything you like, the reality is that we still have a crime issue. Most big Cities do.

The Police were quite candid. They usually know who the ‘usual suspects’ are. The problem is evidence. But more than this, the real problem is the ‘punishment’. Which, if meted out, is usually a ‘joke’. So the criminals know that if they get caught the Courts are not going to do much with them. A telling off or slap on the wrist is what they can expect.

Unfortunately many of the cases simply don’t get to Court – the costs of doing so are expensive and if there’s at the slightest hole in the evidence then the case will almost certainly fail. So, rather than take a case with lost so circumstantial evidence and ‘known’ bad boys, it’s waste of time. So the criminals just carry on – taking yours and my stuff (although they didn’t this time).

We surely have to get to a point where there is an effective deterrent. It needs to be short and sharp.

When I came in one night there was a reality TV show on about the Police. They had chased two bad lads across a field and trapped them in a copse. The Police helicopter found them with it’s heat seeking camera and a dog team were dispatched. Despite warnings the dogs were sent in and quickly retrieved the two – who were seen bleeding where the dog had bitten them. they were complaining bitterly about being mauled. The interesting comment was that the bite (which clearly hurt) was probably the worst punishment they would get!

A short sharp bite might make them think twice?

May 3 2012

Churches past and present…

As I drive along Castle Boulevard each day (on my way to Costa Coffee!) I have watched the new Cornerstone Church gradually come out of the ground – on the site of the old MFI.

It’s not looking pretty. Imposing yes, pretty no. In fact, to date, it looks like a newer version of the MFI trade showroom it has replaced. All steel, crinkly tin and some token brick and stone facades. Theres a bit of a curved section of brickwork and a jauntily angled joint between brick and profile sheets. Although the scaffold remains up, the ‘reveal’ isn’t going to be eureka moment I fear!

I was thinking as I drove past this week what a difference a hundred years makes. Well, perhaps 200. If you have ever seen the Basilique_du_Sacré Coeur in Paris, St Pauls in London or La Salgrada Familia in Barcelona – you’ll understand what I mean. These are great pieces of architecture – that have stood the test of time. They remain iconic and standing! They were constructed of the very best material, stone, slate, lead. They had character and real features. They were more than just canopies to protect people from the wind and rain. They are not buildings they are places.

I wonder in a hundred years if this new Cornerstone church will be standing. I’m guessing that MFI was built in the late 1970′s – a pretty poor lifespan. 35-40 years?

Our world today is all about sustainability. We concentrate it seems to me on the energy and ‘green’ credentials. But surely some of the most sustainable ones are those that were built hundreds of years ago. Their embedded carbon has long since been written down. Look at the Pitcher & Piano in Nottingham – originally a church, now a bar. Re-use at it’s best.

I’m sure cost has featured highly and I gather that congregations are high in number. So, these new churches have done something the old buildings couldn’t do! Perhaps they are sustainable after all?

Apr 29 2012

Squeeze – Cool for Cats in the Big Apple

Two of the finest songwriters of the late 70′s and 1980′s were in town last night. Chris Difford and Glen Tilbrook’s Squeeze played the Roseland Ballroom – and as you might expect, I was there!

The Roseland Ballroom has an impressive history – Fred Astair, Madonna and The Rolling Stones have all performed there! The carpets are authentically sticky, bet Fred didn’t have to put up with that?

Squeeze are one of my all-time favourite groups. I first saw them in the early 1980′s and have subsequently seen them numerous times. Once on a beach in Cannes! Last night it was New York, it was the final night of their US tour.

But first – It was The English Beat in support – known when I was in shorts just as The Beat. And they were pretty good, playing “Can’t Get Used to Losing You,” “Mirror In the Bathroom,” “Hands Off She’s Mine” and “Best Friend.” I remember these hits well – It’s an age thing I suspect?

The great thing about Squeeze is that I know all the words to all of the songs! So it follows that I’m not going to have a voice after these gigs! I don’t, but I could easily stand in for either Chris or Glenn if they couldn’t make it. Lyrically they have been compared to Lennon & McCartney.

They were brilliant. The romped through the greatest hits – and in the final section played Cool for Cats, Up the Junction, Another Nail in My Heart, Goodbye Girl, Annie Get Your Gun, Take Me I’m Yours, Hourglass and Pulling Mussels from a Shell. Then for an encore, Slap & Tickle, Tempted and Black Coffee in Bed.

The American audience seemed pretty good to the boys from back home, some of them even knew the words!

And so it was all over, so I have to wait until December to see them again, this time back in Nottingham!

Apr 27 2012

You couldn’t make it up….

There were some omens in place before this trip to New York. Like I couldn’t book the seats on-line or do an on-line check in. I should have known really.

The M1 was shut at Milton Keynes so we skipped around the M40. We were still on-time. Parking at Purple Parking was easy and friendly. Check-in was remarkably smooth.

The trouble struck. Apparently Heathrow was ‘busy’ and they swapped the runways round – this cost us an hour on the tarmac.

But the real fun started when we picked our bag up. Or rather didn’t pick our bag up – because it wasn’t there. After a bit of detective work we established that someone had left a similar bag spinning on the carousel and wandered off with ours. To make matters worse the person is ‘visually impaired’ and so had some help. Presumably she just pointed at a blue bag and that was that – my bag with someone else.

I would have thought the ‘helper’ might have just checked the name tag?

Alas not. So the first night in New York is without any toiletries or clothes. I do have a laptop and kindle, but have found these to be poor substitutes for the likes of toothbrushes and deodorant?

I shall blog ‘properly’ soon…

Apr 25 2012

Nottingham – The Mayor debate rages on…

The debate about the Nottingham Mayor continues to rage with our former Nottingham MP Alan Simpson wading into the debate. You can read his comments here.

It’s an interesting take on the arguments. On the one hand Alan seems to be suggesting the current system is fine and on the other he takes some swipes at the leadership. The phrases I picked out…

“NOTTINGHAM needs an elected mayor like a dog needs flippers. It is a delusion to think they would make the dog a better swimmer, or the city better governed. This has nothing to do with how much an elected mayor would cost. It is about democracy and Accountability.”

But then….

“My prediction is that all the things you might criticise the city council for today, you would get in spades with an elected mayor. Mates will get favoured, patronage will go unchallenged, books will remain closed, and “vision” will come a poor second to vanity.

Nottingham may have lost its way, but you can’t blame this on the absence of an elected mayor. We have a first-class public transport system, a really good ice arena, a community energy company in The Meadows widely regarded as a national beacon, two good universities and a number of outstanding authors, architects, designers and artists. Beyond this, we are strictly second division.

Good governance demands strong opposition as well as visionary leadership. Nottingham has neither. This is the council’s Achilles heel. To demolish the case for a mayor, it must open its own books and then be more imaginative.

Nottingham could be part of this, but we have to break from a culture of contentedness that holds the city back. Pride and ambition are not qualities you can claim for yourself, without inviting ridicule.

Making a stand for something better has nothing to do with mayors. Cities driving the most exciting changes do so because their citizens demand it. And those cities have real powers. Ours do not.”

Looks like a pretty damning view of the current arrangements to me? It’s hardly a ringing endorsement for the status quo? Perhaps this is my point, the current arrangements are past their sell by date. We need a new way?

Apr 22 2012

A trip down memory lane …

My youngest son Jak must have acquired some petrol-head genes from me. Last week he bought a new car. Not so very new though – rather a 1996 Mini.

When you’re 18 it’s important to have two cars I guess. It’s now more than I have.

I have had a go in it – it has character. The 3 miles to the squash club was great , especially the speed bumps. This is a car without power-steering, airbags, ABS brakes or pretty much any creature comforts. When I passed my test back in the dark ages I shared a mini with my mum for a while, until I gave up £50 for my own mini. It was a white van!

The memories came flooding back, the noise, the lack of comfort. With 63 BHP this is not fast stuff, although you are so close to the ground that it all feels a bit fast. It even has a choke (remember those?)

I love it.

I was then trying to recall my history of cars:

Mini Van – pretty awful – colder on the inside than the out!
1.1 Ford Escort – Banana Yellow and horrendously under-powered.
Austin Allegro (lovingly knows and whistlers or All-Agro) – pretty awful
Vauxhall Astra – white 1.6 – good little car.
Red Ford Escort 1.6xl – quick.
Ford Orion 1.6 – comfort
Rover 1.6efi – superb car – bit temperamental
Ford Scorpion – I was given this to put some miles on, like a hearse!
BMW 3 series – great car!
Mercedes 190e – a wedding car if ever there was one!
BMW 520 – first grown up car
Land Rover Discovery 3.5 – liked petrol stations – 8mpg
Lexus 200 sport – good car – full of toys!
Audi TT – amazing piece of kit
BMW 525d Sport – awful car, BMW took it back after 18 months.
Audi RS4 – the best car I ever owned / am likely to own!
Mercedes 350E AMG soft top – current car, pretty good, waggly in the wet!
Mini Cooper Works – great fun car, a fast roller skate!

And so … what next? I wonder if it should be a Porsche? Or the Audi TTRS+… In fact it just needs to blisteringly quick. The need for speed.

Certainly won’t be a mini – even if it did bring a smile to my face!

Apr 19 2012

The joy of cold calling?

My eldest son works in a call centre, raising money for charity. I have some sympathy for his as it can’t be fun extracting cash from people – especially in the current climate.

I seem to be going through a phase again of get cold calls – principally about my firms mobile telephones. The contract is due for renewal in the summer this year. But, following some pretty appalling experiences of private firms who promise the earth and then deliver nothing, we have gone directly to the big firms, Orange, O2 and Vodaphone. Although our experiences have been varied, I do know where I stand. We won’t ever go through a third party again.

But this doesn’t stop the cold callers. My favourites (not) are the ones who start with my first name – in a sort of ‘best mate’ way. Then they are concerned about how my day is, ‘are you having a good day?’ I’m not usually, so this is a bit of a blow to them when I share. Then the outright lie, ‘you told me to call you back’ or ‘you said I could come and see you’. They are pretty convincing – and seem genuinely disappointed when I let them down with ‘no I didn’t’. Emphatically I didn’t. I always remember when I have ‘promised’ to let them see me / quote me. Because it’s been never.

The lies really irritate me the most. They must do this on one of two grounds – firstly they get lucky and find me in a pleasant mood (unlikely) or that they think my memory has failed me and I’ll roll over (unlikely) and let them come and share my office for an hour.

It can’t be fun trying to earn a living doing this, but the manual about winning new clients from cold calling needs re-visiting!

Apr 18 2012

God Save The Queen – part 2

I was there first in 1977 when The Sex Pistols screeched onto the scene – famously wrecking Bill Grundy’s career as they swore on TV. The show was live and the use of obscenities were forbidden.

The Sex Pistols were out to shock and shock they did. The album cover of “Never Mind the Bollocks” hit the national headlines and Nottingham featured. It was the Virgin shop in Queen Street (where I spent many happy hours) which put the album cover in the window. The manager was taken to court – and Richard Branson was dragged in too (as owner of the record label). QC John Mortimer defended the case and ‘won’.

The transcript of the judgement read, “Much as my colleagues and I wholeheartedly deplore the vulgar exploitation of the worst instincts of human nature for the purchases of commercial profits by both you and your company, we must reluctantly find you not guilty of each of the four charges.“.’Bollocks’ was not a rude word – fact.

The second single from the album was released during the Queens Jubilee celebrations in 1977 – and was promptly banned by virtually everyone. Officially it reached number two on the ‘official chart’ but these were that days of dark forces and the suspicion was, and is to this day, that it was the biggest selling single that week.

So, roll on 25 years (where dd they go) and it seems that the single is to be re-released in a Rage Against The Machine moment! This time to commemorate the Queens Diamond Jubilee.

I don’t need to buy it this time round – I have it on the album and somewhere deep in my garage I have the original single!

I think the single has a good chance of reaching the top of the charts…